I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
