Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
