Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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