Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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