I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i wish my penis had a tongue
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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