I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
