Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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