Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
