if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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