I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
