We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
