And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
