Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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