we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
