stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize