I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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