My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We are two peas in an std pod
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I got inside last night via doggy door
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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