Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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