How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
