after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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