smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
