is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
