so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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