Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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