Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
