I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
