I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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