Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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