i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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