K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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