Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
