I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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