billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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