Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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