Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Found the puke drawer
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
