she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize