she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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