The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
