i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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