just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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