Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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