i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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