remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
