This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
