I just made out with a guy for $7.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
