I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
