i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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