This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
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I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize