both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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