It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
