and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize