you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
