If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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