just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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