We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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