You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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