well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
it's great music for shaving your balls
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
