her vagina looked like bernie madoff
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
