We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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