I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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