I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
