I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
