Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
